Hot Chicks (manipulate the oppresive constraints of gender)

I love hot women as much as the next person, but what is up with this Chickipedia website?!

According to its About page, this website is "the first female-only encyclopedia of the people, by the people, and for the people," whatever the heck that means. While I think it's great to have a space to celebrate women's achievements and have no problem admiring their hotness at the same time, this is somehow not what I had in mind.

Let's start with the focus on women's measurements, which they've got right there on top, along with an outline of what those measurements roughly look like. It's also what comes up when you search for somebody... which I find rather strange because I don't see how knowing measurements will help you find who you're looking for, but whatever. It's also owned by Break Media which is apparently "the Internet’s premier entertainment community for men." Um-kay.


Then we move to the gray area... The list of assets includes the standard perky breasts, long legs, nice ass. But it also includes some really awesome stuff like "black belt in Tae Kwan Do" (apparently, Evan Rachel Wood kicks ass) and "ability to manipulate the oppressive constraints of gender" (Hilary Swank kicks ass in a completely different way).

Also, the information on the pages I checked out actually seem to not be gross or terribly degrading! I expected to find disgusting sexual innuendos or more vulgarity and grossness, but it seems to actually just have normal information. They have bio info, lists of what the women have been in and who they've worked with, and even give props where it's due.

They also include women who I suppose would not conventionally make hot lists, like Jeanne Tripplehorn, Amy Holmes and Rachel Maddow. (Ok, anybody who wouldn't put Rachel Maddow on their "hot" list is freaking crazy, but I think you know what I'm trying to say here.)

Maybe these unexpected pluses (if one can call them that) is what confused the crap out of me. If it'd been as sleazy as I expected, I would've just kept it moving like I usually do when I find sites like these. But these people seem confused about what exactly they're going for here...

I realize I shouldn't have expected much, but I'd never heard of this site and was intrigued. But I guess I can go ahead and file this under "what else is new?"

(Cross-posted at Jump off the Bridge.)

Feminist Dilemma: Illegal Interview Questions

As much as I love freelancing, I am also searching for a full-time position. Yes, I know it is foolish to trade working in my pajamas and setting my own schedule for a guaranteed income, but what can I say - I'm crazy that way. So, this means I'm interviewing - and I recently had one interview that, well, posed a question: what do you do if you're asked an illegal question during an interview?

Here's how it went. I was back for a second interview at an advertising and design company - and the first interview, with the Executive Director, had gone really well. Seriously, he loved me. Now I was back, speaking with the more junior-level guy who would be my direct supervisor if I were to take the position. This second interview was not going so well, partially because guy started this way:

Guy: So, how long have you been married?
Me: Just over a year now.
Guy: Do you have any kids?
Me: No.
Guy: (Expectant pause.)
Me: (Thinking - !?!?)
Guy: (Expectant pause.)
Me: (Thinking - ... he isn't legally allowed to ask me if I plan on having kids, is he? Is that why he's waiting, he wants me to talk about my plans for my uterus? I don't even know my plans for my uterus - and even if I did, it would be illegal for him to ask me about my uterus in an interview. Wait... is my confusion showing on my face?)
Guy: (Expectant pause.)
Me: I really enjoyed the tour of your new production studio, is that where you filmed the...?

Other than that, the only weird thing about the interview was that he seemed to be feeling around about how long I plan on living in Atlanta - lots of questions like 'Do you like Atlanta?' and 'Do you have any family nearby?' - but whether or not I plan to stay put seems like a fair thing for a company to want to know, right? He didn't come back to the baby question and neither did I, but it made enough of an impression that when asked about the interview later that night, I responded, "I don't know - it was a little weird."

As it turns out, I was asked more than one illegal question. An employer can't legally ask "do you have kids" in an interview, nor can she ask about your marital status or your residential history in the region/country. Of course, knowing that these questions are illegal doesn't mean that I'll now know what to do the next time one is asked. So - I put the question to you:

As good feminists, what should we do if a potential employer asks about our marital status or family plans? Do you point out that these are illegal questions in hopes of keeping the employer from being jerk to future female interviewees? Do you answer? Do you change the topic? Do you phone your attorney?

UPDATE: As public interest lawyer Jake Aryeh Marcus pointed out in the comments, these questions are not technically illegal in many states! As Women's eNews explains:

Only 22 states and Puerto Rico specifically prohibit employers from inquiring about applicants' marital status. That means "maternal profiling" is a real problem for many women.

Yeah, you bet it's a problem! I'm interested in knowing how many of our readers have similar stories - have you been asked about your gender, marital status, or family plans in an interview?

Are You Shitting Me?

I apologize to our young readers (or our older readers not fond of a potty mouth) for my language. While I am filled with nervous energy and excitement following the amazing historic vote we've witnessed, I am also filled with anger. That tends to seep out into my choice of words. However, in my defense, on a day where Prop8 passed in California I also come across the following petty discourse about Michelle Obama's choice of dress last night.

From the article:

All that said, I think her election-night dress was an odd choice. The cut didn't flatter her figure or work well on camera. The addition of a bolero-like sweater only added to the shapeless silhouette.

It's time to cast your vote. Was the dress a hit or a miss?

You know what? I don't bloody well care what she was wearing. Two of my best friends just had their marriage from last month mocked, thrown under the bus, and right out the window.

Grrr...

UPDATE:
P.S. In case you are wondering how to continue to call attention to this, here are some ideas from my above mentioned friend, "Things to make a difference (if you aren't already doing these things :) Follow NoOnProp8 on Twitter, be a supporter/fan of NoOnProp8 on Facebook, Donate to NCLR (www.nclrights.org) and EQCA (www.eqca.org) since they're funding the lawsuit and continued efforts and they spent most of their money fighting Prop 8".

Mini-Rant: Women are Not Interchangeable

You know what's sexist? Implying that women are completely interchangeable by acting as though you could substitute a Sarah Palin for a Hillary Clinton and no one would notice. It is assumed that voters can choose between two white male politicians - their individuality is understood; and it goes without saying that any two male candidates are different people with different ideas that appeal to different kinds of voters. So, for those of you out there who want to call my feminist credibility into question for not voting for 'a woman candidate' - being able to recognize that not all women are the same, just like not all men are the same, makes me more feminist, not less. Yes, I would have been proud to vote for Hillary Clinton and no, I'm not voting for Sarah Palin. And for those trying to maintain that there is some sort of illogic to that, you need to ditch the premise that all ladies are the same - that attitude makes you sexist.

As for the idea that the election of Palin would shatter the glass ceiling, I think this sums up my thoughts on that argument pretty nicely:


For an in-depth (and brilliant) analysis of the above cartoon, visit Ann. For more on why most feminists aren't voting for Palin, you can find some really solid reasons here and here.

Sex and Politics: How Yummy

The following article, Beauty and the Beast by JoAnn Wypijewski, was a lovely read for me this morning. Did you sense the sarcasm in that? I had a massive migraine yesterday and I think I feel it coming back. I appreciate how this article assesses a simple fact: while Palin might somehow help McCain politically, the Palin VP pick seems to be more about sex than gender or policitcs.

Here are a few snippets to ponder:

At his introduction of Sarah Palin to the world on August 29, John McCain appeared a man possessed, playing with his ring, fastening his gaze on her breasts, her backside, his right fingers sliding up from that dratted gold band to the finger tip, pinching it as if to control the volcano stirring within him.

The Republicans didn't need just any woman to compete with Obama for the Wow factor, the Mmm factor, the stable, loving family factor. It is a calculated bonus that adherents can now speak loftily of making history, but for different reasons, drawing deep from the well of their identities, and not for the first time, both McCain and the right needed a sexual icon.

And finally, this is where my head started to hurt again:

Rush Limbaugh, who began a push for Palin as VP in February, can hardly contain himself: "Sarah Palin: babies, guns, Jesus, hot damn!" he crowed. "We're the ones that have the babe on the ticket!"

When Bush was re-elected, we wanted to move to France. If McCain/Palin are elected, I believe Agincourt and I might have to consider Germany this time.

Keeping Football Boys-Only

Kacy Stuart tried out for her high school's football team and made the cut. All summer she's been practicing and scrimmaging with the team, readying herself for the upcoming season. She was to be a kicker. Yet, as team photos were being taken last Thursday afternoon, Kacy Stuart was pulled aside and given the bad news:

...a couple of weeks ago... Hank St. Denis, executive board chairman of the Georgia Football League, realized a girl had been accepted onto one of its football teams. St. Denis overruled New Creation’s decision to let her join the team.

“He said she can’t play simply because she’s a girl,” Stuart said.

That's right - she earned her spot on the team and now, after putting in the work, she's not being allowed to play - because she's a girl.

The Georgia Football League can be contacted here, should anyone feel inclined to comment on this policy of discrimination.

UPDATE: ESPN has picked up this story.

More on Mini-Skirts

A university in Mexico's Sinaloa province has banned mini-skirts, claiming that the new dress code will protect women from an atmosphere of violence. As Guanabee explains:

Director of Studies, Héctor Melesio Cuen Ojeda explained that with such a violent atmosphere existing in Sinaloa—the state spawned the country’s most fearsome drug cartel and is home to a bloody, ongoing battle with neighboring cartels in Tijuana— wearing such short skirts is “an invitation to be attacked or bothered, not only within the university facilities, but also on the outside.” Also discussed was the need to cover tattoos and remove face piercings.

Of course, we know that this type of 'lady clothes cause violence' logic isn't confined to Mexico, but common throughout the world. The problem with the ban on sexy as a protective device is that it simply doesn't work - in order to protect women, we have to change the attitude that abusing women is acceptable, we must stop victim-blaming, and we have to create a safe society where everyone can be comfortable walking around their universities and neighborhoods. This type of clothing ban hurts women in the long-run by promoting the idea that women can be responsible for the violence against them simply by being found attractive by an attacker. Perhaps another protest is in order.

You can read the original article, in Spanish, at El Universal.

Smiling Othering

Othering is "a way of defining and securing one’s own positive identity through the stigmatization of an 'other.'" It is the "[s]implistic recognition of normal human diversity, combined with ethnocentric thinking [that] can lead to a tendency to depict ‘others' ...as somehow, categorically, topologically, intrinsically, DIFFERENT." It is also incredibly common.


Othering is so common, in fact, that people are often unaware that they are doing it, and will even Other you to your face - while smiling at you. I've been thinking about how to best handle this type of 'smiling othering' since reading two excellent posts about this phenomenon.

The first example comes from Female Science Professor, who writes about a conversation she had at a recent overseas conference:

When I was introduced to a senior scientist I had not met before, we talked about scientific topics of mutual interest at first... Then he told me: “I once worked with a Female Scientist.”

...It’s kind of hard to know how to respond to that. He was trying to make friendly conversation, and perhaps he feared that I had preconceptions about him based on stereotypes of male scientists from his country. But what can I say?

- Me too!
- How did that go?
- I’ve worked with a male Scientist.
- Do you think it will rain later today?

The challenge was increased when he added, somewhat randomly “She’s taller than I am.” Now what to say?

- Most people are.
- How did you feel about that?

I decided to avoid a direct response and return to discussing Science, including the work he did with the Female Scientist.

The next is from Carmen at Anti-Racist Parent, who got Othered at a Staples. She was waiting in line to make some photocopies, when the man in front of her turned around and asked if she were Hawaiian:

I say: “No”

And he insists that I look Hawaiian and I shrug my shoulders and say I’m not, at which point he asks the dreaded question that ALL ASIAN AMERICANS HAVE HAD TO ANSWER AND THAT MOST OF US HATE: “Where ARE you from? Which country?”

Me (sighing inside–I mean, I just want to make 5 lousy photocopies): “I’m from the United States of America.”

Him, now a bit flustered: “No, I know that, I mean, where are your parents from…where are your people from?”

Me (not willing to give in): “California”

Him: (now he’s bemused and acting like I’m retarded rather than being frustrated by my obvious deference of his questions): “No, I mean what is your ancestry? Where are your ancestors from?”

To which I tell him that if he’s asking about my ethnic background, it’s China/Chinese.

Him: “Oh! Ni hao?”

Me (now being deliberately obtuse): “Sir, if you are inquiring as to whether I speak Cantonese or Mandarin, I do not.”

Him: (now laughing amiably because he thinks we’re having a jolly little conversation): “Oh, I’ve been to China several times and have picked up a few useful phrases. Have you ever visited China?”

Me: (now just annoyed, I mean, he’s a nice older fellow, but really, I JUST WANT TO MAKE MY PHOTOCOPIES): “No, I’ve never been to China.”

Him: (he’s now VERY SURPRISED and in ADVICE mode): “But you HAVE to go to China. It’s where your people are from!”

And I just shrugged and made my photocopies and he left, finally.

In both examples, the conscious intent wasn't to make anyone uncomfortable - in fact, the speakers were trying to be friendly. The result, however, is to point out - repeatedly - that the male/white is normal and accepted, while anything else is remarkable and calls for an extended explanation.

I'm going to guess that most of our readers have been Othered at various points in their lives, and sometimes by people who seemed to mean no harm. So my question is - how have you been othered, and how did you deal with it? When someone seems good-natured even as they insist that we are different, how should we respond?

(image via Sociological Images)

Dehumanizing Women for their Sexuality

(h/t Lindsay)

Gender Policing Hurts Kids Abbreviated

I've been thinking about NPR's piece "Two Families Grapple with Sons' Gender Preferences," which aired weeks ago, and about how gender-policing hurts all kids. So, I wasn't surprised to stumble across some research published in the journal Sex Roles indicating that parents who over-correct "... gender atypical behavior (GAB) i.e. behavior traditionally considered more typical for children of the opposite sex" put their kids at greater risk of developing adverse adult psychiatric symptoms:

Negative parenting style was associated with psychiatric symptoms. Structural equation modeling showed that parenting style significantly moderated the association between childhood GAB and adult psychiatric symptoms with positive parenting reducing the association and negative parenting sustaining it.

So, it isn't being different that put kids at risk, it's being punished for being different.

I wrote more about this... a lot more... over at Feministe. But for those of you who don't have a leisurely Friday morning, I'll just skip-ahead to the end:

Knowing that gender policing is potentially dangerous for kids, how do we let our children explore their gender identities in their own ways - despite the messages all around them implying that anything but strict adherence to their prescribed gender roles is bad, or even unsafe?

Fore! Unless You Are A Woman. Then, No Beer For You!

Here is my latest piece on the inequality that women must face when it comes to sports, even when they are not an actual participant.

How about this:

When the men of the Phoenix Country Club saw their feeding ways in peril, they did not tarry. Some sent nasty e-mail messages, hectored players on the fairway and, for good measure, urinated on a fellow club member’s pecan tree.The targets of their ire were the women, and some men, who have dared to speak up against the club’s policy of forbidding women in the men’s grill room, a center of power dining in Phoenix.

Barbara Van Sittert, one of those women, said her husband, Logan, 73, has been heckled while playing golf and once found his locker defaced.

“They hooted and hollered at him and called his wife a whore,” said Mrs. Van Sittert, 72, a petite, quiet woman with an elegant white bob. “It was not warm and fuzzy.”

Or this:

Women at the club are not permitted to have lunch in the men’s grill room with their husbands after a round of golf; they have been barred from trophy ceremonies after tournaments, even ones they have sponsored, and may not participate in one of the most sacred rituals of the men’s grill room — sealing a deal over a beer with a client.

I read this article and was utterly disgusted. What I did find to instill a wee bit of hope into the situation is this article here encouraging women to get out there and keep playing.

Really, this is the big picture for an individual regardless of gender. Get out there and fight against whatever inequality is holding you back!

The Salon Industry is Pretty Part II: After Graduation

[Note to readers: On Monday we ran the first of a two-part series by guest-blogger Voodoolady. Today we are excited to present Voodoolady's second post, describing her experience working in the salon industry after graduating from the honors program of her cosmetology school. These are her words...]

I planned on graduating and moving into the real world. I envisioned a creative, hardworking environment - a place where determination and drive would ensure my career. I wanted to learn from professionals and progress. I had the drive and the enthusiasm.

The first cosmetology job after graduation was an assistant (shampooing, cleaning, learning). On my first day of work, my manager looked through my lunch bag and scolded me about my eating habits and weight. I saw a red flag, but I continued - knowing this had no relevance to my position at the salon.

The lunch badgering continued for a week until she exclaimed that I "obviously would not listen" to her. After speaking with the human resources department, I was told that she was the manager and accommodating her would be the best thing to do. I quit during the second week, when I was admonished about my weight in front of the salon, stylists and clients. I did not sign-on for public embarrassment.

My next position was as an assistant for a salon in Buckhead, GA. My boss referred to me as "sweetie" always; looking back I'm not sure if he bothered remembering my name. I was there early and left late. I ran errands and went above-and-beyond - until I walked in on him making-out with a client who, incidentally, was not his wife. I immediately left the room, and he let me go the next day because our 'personalities didn't mesh.' Somehow I doubt that was the real reason.

I saw a fellow student from cosmetology school walking down the street the next day. She explained that the salon industry was "too flakey" for her, and she'd gone back to her previous job in graphic design. She explained that the attention to makeup, hair, and designer dressing was not her career. After expressing her disappointment with the actual salon environment, she left - explaining that the school was unrealistic about the expectations we should have as women.

The third salon job was as a colorist assistant at an upscale salon in West Atlanta. I was let go after responding to a phone message 3 hours 'late' on my day off. The owner explained to me that working in a salon was similar to being a doctor on call, and I had to be there for him even if a call comes on my day off. This was never explained as a condition of the hire during the interview or my training.

Discouraged but still hopeful, I went to my fourth position as a receptionist. I thought maybe taking a step back and observing the industry from a different position would help me adapt to salons. I was enjoying the work and adapted quickly. My boss soon started giving me suggestions for losing weight and 'dressing better.' I was concerned; I did not want my appearance to be a factor again. After three weeks of work, I was called early before work by my boss. He told me there was a water line break and we couldn't reopen until next week. I thought nothing of it until I received a phone call from my boss's boyfriend the following Monday, informing me that I would no longer be needed in the position. The boyfriend also mentioned that the new employee worked out really well last week. So, not only had I been lied to, but the owner didn't have the courage to call me personally.

I began working on clients independently and traveling to them. Without the uncomfortable overhead, cosmetology work is fun again. I still do this work, but it is not my career. I have had to become a cosmetologist with my own agenda.

The Salon Industry Is Pretty Part I: Cosmetology School

[Note to readers: We're excited to have Voodoolady here as a guest-blogger today, and honored that she's decided to post her exposé on the salon industry on The Feminist Underground! These are her words...]

I entered the cosmetology world due to an interest in working with the public and being creative. Short hair, long hair, blue hair, black hair: I love the change, and I wanted to help others have that experience. Was I naive? Yes. I believed that hard work and study at a top school would provide me with the skills I needed for a career.

There were no warnings that this would not be the case as I entered cosmetology school. I was impressed by the faculty and the environment. Without hesitation, I made my plans to begin school and got my application and financial assistance completed. I could not wait to begin!

I soon found out that there was an all-black dress code, with dress shoes (no sneakers) required. On the first day of school, I was reprimanded for not having "complete" makeup. I'd worn some concealer, powder, and blush, but I was informed that I must wear foundation, mascara, full eye makeup, and style my hair as if I were 'going out on the town.' I thought this was sexist, but I decided to comply the next day. I wondered if some vanity simply came with this career.

The first week was terrifying. I was 10-12 years older than the majority of the students, and that old high school awkwardness returned. I didn't speak much during the first week of school, but I eventually adapted (in a way). During my entire cosmetology school experience, I was reprimanded constantly for my makeup, hair, and comfortable shoes. I noticed that the male students got away with wearing blue jeans, tennis shoes, and a hat to cover bed-head. Yet, whenever this dress code discrepancy between genders was discussed, the staff promised to enforce the same standards. It never happened.

I studied hard and made excellent progress. The top echelon of education was the honor's program, my goal. Joining every club and charity event, working hard, making clients happy, and becoming Student President gave me a feeling of belonging and confidence. I made excellent grades and finished my credits months before finishing my required hours.

Shortly after entering the honor's program, the director of the honor's students told me in private that I would have a much harder time finding work than the younger, slimmer, 'more attractive' students. I was shocked and angry. When I discussed this with other teachers, and they assured me that he was just "picking on me." Yet, he went on to make derogatory comments towards me in front of other students and, more importantly, clients during the duration of my education. I kept my head up, however, and my sights focused.

[Watch for Part II: After Graduation later this week...]

The Greatest Affront to Feminism in History

The greatest affront to feminism in history [since the last Fox reality show] is called "Battle of the Bods". [For the perversely interested, full episodes are available on Hulu.com, which is how I accidentally came upon this show.] It is grossly offensive, but somehow appealing in the same way you always look when driving past a wreck. I feel like mankind has fallen into a moral abyss.

The host:

• Unknown British lady with a shockingly prim accent for the filth that comes out of her mouth. She sexually harasses the contestants in a way that would make my beloved Bill Clinton blush.
  

The contestants:

• 5 women with cripplingly low self-esteems preen for men behind a 2-way mirror. These women would likely refer to themselves as 'classy', which is never a good sign.
  
• 3 men of professional distinctions including surfer, bartender, construction worker, out-of-work male model, frat boy. The men criticize and demean the women the entire time while in the protection of their cozy booth.
  

The motivation:

• The women get $500 per person in the correct position, to be divided into 5 at the end. After the travel costs and costume budget, clearly not enough to be humiliated.
• Oddly, there seems to be no prize for the men...
  

The rounds:

• Round 1: Face. The women get to wear 'silk' robes and trampy makeup.
  
• Round 2: Ladies' Choice. They get to wear swimsuits while arguing that in fact they have the 3rd best bottom, not the 4th.
  
• Round 3: Total package. They get to wear boudoir clothing and argue that they truly deserve #1. The saddest ones however are the women that insist that they should be #5. They applied for the show, auditioned, and yet in the moment to show their stuff, they just seem sad and dejected. It's extra pitiful. Like they spent all of that money to surgically enhance themselves and in the end they realize that it wasn't enough.
  
• Round 4: Men. In a shocking turn, the men are ranked by the women. Just as demeaning.
  

I shudder to think of the corporate brainstorming session that imagined this monstrosity.

Sometimes Men and Women *ARE* Equal on TV

I am on vacation this week. No, I did not go anywhere. I simply am not going to work. Sometimes that is enough. Part of my "holistay" (think The Daily Show) has included watching the Olympic swimming trials in Omaha, NE. The coverage is on USA Network from 8-9pm EST, in case anyone is wanting to see some of the action.

An interesting notion popped into my mind as I sit here. There is a discrepancy between coverage of male and female sporting events. As I have indicated on previous occasions, I think it should simply be sporting events with no distinction between gender. What I realized tonight is that when it is an individual sporting event where the events are staggered between the men and women (think track/field, swimming, gymnastics) then the TV time gets equal billing. Is it because of a greater respect for those particular sports? Or is it because it is harder to separate the two when the entire sporting schedule gives equal time to the men and women?

I'd have to say that it is the latter. I was a swimmer for about fifteen years. The only thing that I ever felt was that we, as swimmers, did not get equal billing as the football team did (who, in high school and college was not very impressive, might I add). I never felt as if I was diminished as a female athlete though. Why? Because I trained with the men and, while I did not compete against them, I was always training against and competing along side of them. Isn't that what our lives should be like?

Call for Submissions: Feminism Definitions

It's awkward to admit now, but definitions of feminism penned by anti-feminists used to make me shy away from the word. My ideas were clearly feminist ideas, but I worried that the term was so widely misunderstood as to make it useless. Conversations about my (feminist!) ideals often went something like this:

Dude: "So, what are you - like, a feminist or something?"
Me: "I believe in liberating both sexes from the gender stereotypes that limit them, and I think that a lot more needs to be done to ensure equal rights and opportunities for women."

Of course, those lines pretty much define my feminism, and it only took two days of working at my university's Women's Center before I learned to openly embrace the word. I have since come to believe that attempts to discredit the term feminism are generally used to silence those who notice sexism in our societies and those who work to make things more equitable.

Perhaps memories of my past reluctance to claim the appropriate term for my philosophies added to the sting I felt when reading the definitions of feminism over at Urban Dictionary last week, but the vitriol I saw there really threw me into a funk. Based on the UD rants and recent media uses of the word, it seems like attacks on feminism and its values have gained force in recent years. I worry that younger generations of women will face even more resistance to both the word and the values it implies if we continue to allow feminist to be used as a synonym for words like harpy and misandrist.

So, I'd like to come up with some more useful definitions of feminism than the ones over at UD, and I'd like your help. I'm hoping to gather some feminist readings of feminism, and some feminist perspectives on what it means to be a feminist. If you're interested in adding your thoughts, please send any of the following to me at pobrehabladora [at] gmail [dot] com by next Thursday evening:

1. Your definition of feminism
2. A post on how you came to call yourself a feminist, or your 'click moment' with feminism
3. How you practice feminism in your daily life, and how others respond
4. Links to posts you've already written about any of the above

Depending on what type of responses we get, I'll either do a single post listing definitions or a series of guest posts. Of course, you'll get credit for your words - so please send a byline telling a bit about yourself or a link to your profile or blog. Naturally, feel free to leave your thoughts on any of the above in comments as well.

Remember - send your definitions or posts by the evening of Thursday, June 19th!

Privilege and Feminism: Do Allies Exist?

My faith in the ability of privileged people to act as allies has been a bit shaken today. My usual confidence in the triumph of compassion over mistrust and blind self-interest faltered after reading the following:

1. A teacher wore a "Got Privilege?" tee-shirt into the fairly liberal Boston-area school in which he works, and was confronted by a co-worker, who insisted that a Puerto Rican man wearing such a shirt is 'offensive to white people.' His story prompted Anti-Racist Parent columnist Liza Talusan to ask:

Privilege. Is it really an ugly word? Why is it so difficult for people to realize and accept that they have privilege? Does having privilege mean people are bad? Selfish? Close-minded?

2. Linda Hirshman writes in The Washington Post that feminism has lost it's focus by concentrating too much on intersectionality. According to Hirshman, we have been placing so much importance on the often divisive issues of race and class, that we've failed to unify around what's best for women. I applaud Jill's response at Feministe:

...my main concern comes at the way the issues are split [by Hirshman] into authentic “feminist” issues and those “other” issues that those “other” women are trying to integrate into feminism. It’s a question of who feminism belongs to, and who is entitled to set out its goals and concerns... I don’t see why middle-class white women’s issues are more purely feminist that the issues raised by poor women or Black women or Hispanic women, or any other group of women. The issues that disproportionately effect middle-class white women are also issues colored by race and class — but because they’re the dominant race and the dominant class, that gets glossed over.

That someone who has spent a lifetime fighting for the rights of the disempowered can so easily shrug-off the challenges faced by others, so long as they are challenges that she won't have to face herself - it saddens me. That people get angry when their privilege is pointed out - angry at people who have traditionally be denied those privileges - confuses me.

All of us enjoy some type of privilege. We are able-bodied, or white, or male, or upper-class, or straight. And for all of us, the types of privilege that we enjoy will sometimes blind us to the challenges that face others. Our differences in privilege will lead us to misunderstand one another, and to mistrust and judge one another. Those of us who are white won't understand that it is a privilege to see numerous and diverse representations of people like us in the media, and won't understand how damaging and morale-beating continual disrespect can be. Those of us who are straight won't understand what a privilege it is to be able to unthinkingly treat our partners with affection no matter where we are, and to not have to worry that our family structure will be misunderstood or used as an excuse to torment our children. Those who are male will most likely not understand how common street harassment and sexual harassment can be, nor how frightening and bewildering.

With so many obstacles to understanding one another, can we ever really be allies?

(h/t to Blue Milk for leading me to the phenomenal Lesbian Dad post on explaining 'two mommies' to other parents, and to Alas, a blog for pointing to Anti-racist Parent.)

UPDATE: The back of the "Got Privilege?" tee shirt reads "If you are neutral in a situation of injustice, you have chosen to side with the oppressor." I realized after posting that the text in the photo might be a bit small to be easily read.

Quick Hits: The 45th Anniversary of the Fair Pay Act and More!

Lindsay of Female Impersonators takes some time on the 45th anniversary of the Fair Pay Act to remind us just how much work still needs to be done to ensure fair pay for all who work in the U.S.A.:

...white women are still payed 77 cents to every white man's dollar, African-American women are payed 66 cents to a white man's dollar and Latina women earn 53 cents to a white man's dollar. Across the board through all different kinds of fields and education levels, unequal pay according to gender persists in the American economy and workforce as institutionalized sexism...

Here's what you can do:

Support the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which says that people can sue for pay discrimination within 180 days of their last paycheck, not 180 since their first paycheck. That means that if you've been working at the same company for five years and you've recently discovered that you're the victim of pay discrimination since hiring, you can sue your company for the past five years of pay discrimination...

Here's info on the Fair Pay campaign, a fact sheet produced by the National Women's Law Center, and most important, a letter to your senator supporting the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. If you live in Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Indiana, Iowa, Florida, Nebraska, New Mexico, North Carolina, Ohio, Texas, or Virginia, one or both of your senators voted against the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act the first time around. You need to write them and tell him/her to get their ass in gear and support the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.

In case you were wondering, we've also written about fair pay and Lily Ledbetter - here, here, and here, for example. Remember, McCain has said that he does not support this legislation.

In 'other things I'm itching to discuss this evening':
1. The New York Times says straight couples have a lot to learn from lesbian and gay couples.
2. The Wall Street Journal discusses the marked differences in McCain and Obama's energy policies
3. The Washington Post wonders if doctors should or could pray with patients
4. The Chicago Tribune further discusses how the abortion issue will be used during the election, and what might be at stake
5. The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life tells of moral dilemmas facing French doctors who are asked to perform operations to "reattach the hymens of women who want to appear as virgins." (UPDATE: for more on this story, visit Womanist Musings.)

Thoughts?

Weekend Plans, Weekend Reads

Happy Memorial Day weekend! I'll be spending some time at the Decatur Arts Festival, the Atlanta Jazz Festival, and perhaps even the birthday party of The Great Speckled Bird. I will also be dedicating a few lazy hours to reading and net surfing, of course.

If you have a few minutes to catch-up on your internet reading this weekend, I seriously recommend the following posts:

1. The (Lack of) Medical Treatment Received by ICE Detainees, from The Curvature: Cara's post discusses "the terrifying, unethical and downright inhumane medical treatment of immigrants imprisoned by ICE, generally while fighting or awaiting deportation," as uncovered in this series of Washington Post articles. Cara couldn't have know when she wrote this post that it would, tragically, be made all the more timely by news that an Iowa court has sentenced 270 'illegal immigrants' to "to five months in prison for working at a meatpacking plant with false documents" before their deportation. Memorial Day weekend is a great time to ask ourselves 'is this the sort of nation we really want to be?'

2. A non-apology of the first kind, from Language Log: Our lovable grammarian friends study Hillary Clinton's remarks about her creepy allusions to the shooting of Robert F. Kennedy made during a discussion of why she does not intend to drop out of the race against Barak Obama. Let me spoil the ending for you - she might say 'I regret it,' but not in any way that actually constitutes an apology.

3. If Not for the Women, Do it for the Puppies, from Pandagon: I know, Amanda Marcotte is still in the dog-house herself, but she has a really good idea about how to deal with PETA - for every sexist ad or publicity stunt they pull, donate instead to a shelter for victims of domestic abuse - and their pets:

Abusers use any leverage they can to terrorize their victims and break their will, and will happily resort to abusing and killing pets for that end. There’s also the added incentive of using the pet as leverage to keep your victim from escaping, because she knows that fleeing without or even with the pet might result in the abuser retaliating by killing her pet. In order to make pet safety less of a barrier to women fleeing abusive homes, the Humane Society has put together a list of 170 safe haven programs, where both the victim and her pets are cared for by the shelters, using various methods.

Amanda also recommends that feminists for the ethical treatment of animals give to the Humane Society, PAWS, the ASPCA, and the Humane Association.

4. (A Sunday UPDATE): There are two articles on the front page of the New York Times right now - one about race car driver Danica Patrick, the other about soccer player Hope Solo. Both articles focus on the social issues that surround these athletes, rather than on their achievements, and I found it odd that the piece on Patrick made no mention of her ground-breaking IndyCar win last month. Still, it was refreshing to see so many female faces prominently featured in the sports section. Happy reading!

What are other people doing and reading this holiday weekend?

The Lone Feminist at Girls' Night: How Should We Talk to Non-Feminist Women?

Feminism's bad rap and the efforts to combat misconceptions about feminists are topics that have recently sparked a plethora of interesting discussions in different forums. Yet, conversations with the strange 'not a feminist, but...' women have nevertheless left me baffled in recent days. I am still wondering what to do when I find myself wanting to scream about something that strikes me as blatantly sexist, while the women around me smile pleasantly. How do I persuasively defend my feminist opinions in a society that labels all opinionated women 'bitches'? Perhaps non-feminist women have always been around, but it also seems like the leaders of the misogynistic backlash against Hillary Clinton's campaign have done an amazing job of overnight anti-feminist indoctrination, for the number of sexist sentiments expressed by the beneficiaries of feminism seems to be on the rise.

Clearly, we need to develop a strategy. We need guidelines for what to do when we find ourselves surprised by attitudes hostile to feminism. To begin, here are just a few examples taken from my own recent experiences that I'd like to discuss.

Scenario 1: "Women are bad at X because I am bad at X"
This is the toughest one I've had to face. "All women aren't stupid, just you," doesn't seem like the right thing to say. The misconception that any one woman's characteristics or weaknesses can be used as proof of the nature of the entire sex is so common that it has frequently been lampooned. But what do you do with this sentiment when it comes from a woman?The only thing I've found to be successful so far is to suggest that perhaps the speaker's deficiencies come not from some hard-wiring, but from something about her upbringing that encouraged her to focus her energies elsewhere. With a scientist friend, I said that if she couldn't find a biological mechanism for her 'women don't remember historical facts as well as men' theory, it was suspect. I then suggested that her lack of interest in history might be just a personal preference, or it might come from the type of books that are marketed as 'boys' books' vs. 'girls' books.' I was then stunned to hear her accept that the differences might be cultural rather than biological, only to claim five minutes later that women are bad a puns, because her boyfriend is better at them than she is. Argh. Does anyone else have other ideas?

Scenario 2: "Feminists devalue motherhood"
To this I pointed out that feminism is working to make motherhood easier for women because feminist do value motherhood. We value it enough to fight for affordable childcare, fair pay, health care, and paid maternity and paternity leave. This statement was immediately followed by:

Scenario 3: "All women must have paid maternity leave, because I had paid maternity leave"
A. Having to use all the sick leave and personal days you've accumulated over the years is not the same thing as paid maternity leave.
B. Maybe you've found a great company. But the U.S.A. has no law that mandates paid maternity leave, so many companies don't offer it. We're trying to fix that for all the women stuck in work environments that aren't as happy as yours.

Scenario 4: "But, I like feeling pretty!"
My gut instinct is to say something along the lines of, "yeah, being attractive sure is a lot of fun when your livelihood doesn't depend on your pretty face and girlish figure." Perhaps that's too combative. The truth is, though, that feminism has given women nothing but options, and the assurance that they cannot legally be pushed out of a job for being deemed unattractive by someone else. Turning that legal assurance into a practical one is a battle we're still fighting.

I want to be better prepared in the future, so I'm here to ask for help. What anti-feminist arguments have you faced, and how did you respond? Should we avoid snark, or embrace it? Has anyone already written a post on how to talk to non-feminist women that might serve as a good reference?