The greatest affront to feminism in history [since the last Fox reality show] is called "Battle of the Bods". [For the perversely interested, full episodes are available on Hulu.com, which is how I accidentally came upon this show.] It is grossly offensive, but somehow appealing in the same way you always look when driving past a wreck. I feel like mankind has fallen into a moral abyss.
- Unknown British lady with a shockingly prim accent for the filth that comes out of her mouth. She sexually harasses the contestants in a way that would make my beloved Bill Clinton blush.
- 5 women with cripplingly low self-esteems preen for men behind a 2-way mirror. These women would likely refer to themselves as 'classy', which is never a good sign.
- 3 men of professional distinctions including surfer, bartender, construction worker, out-of-work male model, frat boy. The men criticize and demean the women the entire time while in the protection of their cozy booth.
- The women get $500 per person in the correct position, to be divided into 5 at the end. After the travel costs and costume budget, clearly not enough to be humiliated.
- Oddly, there seems to be no prize for the men...
- Round 1: Face. The women get to wear 'silk' robes and trampy makeup.
- Round 2: Ladies' Choice. They get to wear swimsuits while arguing that in fact they have the 3rd best bottom, not the 4th.
- Round 3: Total package. They get to wear boudoir clothing and argue that they truly deserve #1. The saddest ones however are the women that insist that they should be #5. They applied for the show, auditioned, and yet in the moment to show their stuff, they just seem sad and dejected. It's extra pitiful. Like they spent all of that money to surgically enhance themselves and in the end they realize that it wasn't enough.
- Round 4: Men. In a shocking turn, the men are ranked by the women. Just as demeaning.