Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Sex Toys? Only if you have a note from your MD

Many Alabamans may be feeling a bit glum today in the wake of the Supreme Court's refusal to hear a challenge to an Alabama anti-obscenity law that bans the sale of sex toys within the state. The "anti-obscenity law, enacted in 1998, bans the distribution of 'any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs for anything of pecuniary value.'" As soon as the injunction is lifted that has until now delayed enforcement of this law, "police and deputies in Alabama could begin to arrest merchants who sell sex toys."

Daniel Weiss of Focus on the Family Action, for one, sees the Supreme Court's decision to let the law stand as "...a victory for families and citizens concerned about public decency." A victory for those concerned about public decency? One wonders where these wild Alabamans were using their sex toys. So. No more vibrator sales. Now the horny will just have to go to bars and find ... buddies. Because anything else would be obscene.

Yet, don't despair, Alabamans. State law maintains that "[r]esidents may legally purchase sex toys out of state for use in Alabama, or they may buy sexual devices in Alabama that have a 'bona fide medical' purpose." So, go to your doctors and get notes, kids. Also, the Supreme Court's logic for not hearing the case was based on the assertion that the Alabama law is different from the Texas sodomy laws that the Court struck down since the "Texas sodomy law involved private conduct, while the Alabama law regulated commercial activity." So someone could give you a vibrator, one private citizen to another. And if that kind person also gave you some advice along with such a nice gift and you felt it to be appropriate, you might want to tip that person.

Move over, Huntsville lemonade stands - I've got a good idea to make some pocket money.


Martita said...

So, you leave teaching, I leave nursing school and we make us a bundle o cash in my (I am embarrassed to say it right now) home state. You know in Peanuts how Lucy is in her "The Doctor Is In/Out" stand? (speaking of lemonade stands in your post) I'm envisioning something along those lines... Hmmmmm... Whatcha say? Do we have a deal? :P

La Pobre Habladora said...

Yeah! Having a "Dr. Good Vibes" stand in hipster Huntsville sounds like sooo much more fun than teaching for a living. And I hate to say it, but I'd probably earn just as much.

Come on home and we'll make this thing happen!

Mächtige Maus said...

Excellent! Black market vibrators. I knew if I waited long enough, my true calling would reveal itself. So, who's made up our new business plan?

Casmall said...

Just like Smokey and the Bandit!